Can't decide between "Romance" and "Love Story", but oh well. Going to put down thoughts on it in this post.
The "hero" of our story is John. John is your average American, working in a mind numbing job in retail, without any real drive to change. John is the unfortunate 12th victim of the zombie plague, making his undead rebirth well before the inevitable zombie apocalypse. After a short time touring the afterlife, including different religious views of heaven and hell, John find himself inexplicably pulled back to his body, some 6 hours after his death occured while waiting for a crosswalk to turn green. After awakening on a cold slab in the morgue, John proceeds to snack on the assistant medical examiner, and then calmly exits the building to go home. An interesting side effect of the undead plague is a mental disconnect between what is or is not normal behavior. Because of this, John walks home normally (having found his clothing), sits down in his favorite chair, goes about his day. The following day when he leaves to walk to work, John ends up at a gathering of undead a short distance from his house, at which point his fellow zombies explain exactly what happened to him, and why it is that he's had uncontrollable body odor. John chooses to go by the name "Hank", as John is a girls name in Gurrrrrrhgh, the native tongue of the undead. Hank tries to live a normal human life, despite being an undead and causing all around him to flee in terror, until he falls in love with Amy, a human woman that works for the local supermarket.
Zombies in this story have a constant stench and shamble at a ridiculously slow pace. Not necessarily due to decomposing tissues or slow brain function, but mostly because they just aren't motivated to move faster. Also, not all victims of the zombie become zombie themselves. Only the "Alpha Zombie" of a particular area is able to create new zombies... The alpha zombie is usually a victim of their own laziness (the zombie who turned our hero, for instance, choked on a handful of cheetos while playing an online game for 3 days straight). Due to alpha zombies having not been bitten, they tend to look like very sick people rather than undead. Zombies are also able to feed on any type of living flesh, not just brains or humans. Zombies retain most of their intelligence, however the deterioration of their vocal cords prevents them from speaking most human languages (at least one zombie will speak french, however), and as such they speak Gurrrrrrhgh, and have a natural understanding of it. Normal humans hear this as moans and groans. Humans also tend to not kill zombies unless necessary, as they're already slow enough that even the morbidly obese can avoid them if they pay attention. Instead they flee in terror at a moderate pace.
Hank does many things to try and appear human and win the heart of Amy throughout the course of the story. Hilarity will ensue.
Friday, October 23, 2009
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